Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
