Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
My ass is underappreciated
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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