Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
