check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
