Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Randomize
