wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
