great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Randomize
