You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
