when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
