you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
