anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
