I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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