I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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