It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
