Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
