I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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