apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
