yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
