and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
