the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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