Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.