Pants 0. Shit 1.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
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