We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
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There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
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Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem