Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
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