shes about as inviting as chlamydia
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!