just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
