This girl is more easily done than said...
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
