You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
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