last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
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