we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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