i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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