"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
