we have officially lost it.
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
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just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
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