there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize