Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize