NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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