Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
