So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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