they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
