So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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