cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
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