this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Randomize
