I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
