Plan B is the new Plan A
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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