U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
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They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
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Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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