Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Randomize
