hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
