I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
