sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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