I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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