Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
