i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I just googled if crying burns calories
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
