If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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