I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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