Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize