I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
