MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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