office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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