we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
