some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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