I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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