Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
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