I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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