HIV tests are more positive than that guy
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
