dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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