This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
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