I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
