We won't sleep together?
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
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