what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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