The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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