why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
This beer is not sobering me up at all
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
