So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize